Scandalous Trump Collusion Tapes

Scandalous Trump Collusion Tapes — The Transcripts

If you thought the email thread that proved Trump’s collusion with a foreign adversary was scandalous, wait until you hear the tapes! That’s right. The unethical, immoral, depraved meeting with Russian government representatives, including a Soviet-era KGB spy, a lawyer! And a LOBBYIST!!! was captured on tape (it could have been).

And the shocking transcript of a pre-meeting phone call is revealed below. Here’s a tease:

Don Trump Jr.:   (Paul,) I need you at a meeting tomorrow… T-Tower, gold conference room.

Paul Manafort:   Which gold conference room? They’re all gold. …

Before you scoff at the veracity of the transcript or unknown me as a source, consider this. I guarantee on a stack of Trump University degrees and a grill full of Trump steaks that I’m being at least as honest as Trump Sr. and Donnie Jr. Believe me… it’s going to be huge… I mean everybody knows Obama wired Trump Tower and Hillary is crooked, so what’s not to believe.  And if it’s not true and there are damages, well then, Mexico will pay for it… right after they pay for the wall.

Background:

Set aside the rolling disclosures about Trump colluding with a foreign adversary. And focus on how the Trump Tower meeting with Russians came about to begin with. How did the meeting between Trump’s son, Trump’s son-in-law, Trump’s campaign manager and a room full of Russian operatives happen at all? It’s not like they knew each other? Oh, they kind of did… Russian-friend of a Russian-friend kind of thing.

New disclosures rolled out every day—sometimes every hour. But even after Don Jr. claimed no wrongdoing and full transparency, we learned new things about the Team Trump plot to subvert democracy. Democratic House Leader Nancy Pelosi called out the Trumps for their crimes, “… opposition research documents from a foreign government or foreign national; criminal conspiracy to defraud the United States… impeding the lawful administration of a federal election; cybercrimes… hacking against U.S citizens; and conspiracy with respect to espionage.” Ouch. That’s got to hurt.

Media types were taken aback by the pique of Democratic ferocity as well as more-bizarre-than-usual pro-Trump spin. CNN host Anderson Cooper sprouted a furrowed brow so deep that I think he still shows wrinkles. His pupils were so dilated you could see the gears turning inside his perfect little head.

The Goods: Trump Collusion Tapes

So what do we have here? Felonious acts by a crime family syndicate or totally normal, innocent as a newborn, nothing burger? Lordy, I’m glad there are tapes. I’m betting that somebody has tapes to support team Trump’s early rationale for how so many Russians ended up in the room. Surely there was a key Donald Trump Jr. and Paul Manafort phone call the day before “The Meeting” and it went something like this:

Trump Collusion Tapes Phone Call Transcript

Paul M:   Hello, is that you, Donnie?

Don Jr.:   Yup. Hey, I need you at a meeting tomorrow… T-Tower, gold conference room.

Paul M:   Which gold conference room? They’re all gold.

Don Jr.:   The big gold one with gold all over the—

Paul M:   No can do, Donnie, my calendar looks all booked up…. It’s a hard commute for me anyhow.

Don Jr.:   Well, okay then. I’ll just ask Kush-Kush instead. Hey, what do you mean you’re all booked up? You’re never all booked up…. And your office is downstairs…. And all you have to do is push an elevator button… Humph. Hard commute my rich-ass-butt!

Paul M:   Okay, you got me. I’ll be there…. Who’s the meeting with?

Don Jr.:   I don’t know… just some acquaintance.

Paul M:   You don’t know??? You don’t know who we’re meeting with?

Don Jr.:   Ah, It’s just a friend of a friend.

Paul M:   And the friend’s name is…?

Don Jr.:   I don’t know. It’s a friend of Pop-Pop’s…

Paul M:   So the Trumpster will be there – count me in.

Don Jr.:   No, we’re not supposed to tell Pop-Pop about this kind of meeting…. Not that we have a meeting… like this kind… of meeting… with… you know… wink-wink.

Paul M:   Do I have to beg?

Don Jr.:   Okay, okay, it’s with some lawyer from Russia. You might know her.

Paul M:   For the last time, I don’t know everybody in Russia.

Don Jr.:   But when we hired you to be campaign manager, you said—

Paul M:   Never mind that. The meeting agenda, what is the agenda?

Don Jr.:   Oh, she has some kind of dirt or something on crooked Hillary from the Russian government that could help us win the election.

Paul M:   Well, we do need more dirt on crooked Hillary since “crooked” might wear thin before November. It’s not like we get billions of dollars of free media and have more wingnuts and millionaires and dirty tricksters at our disposal than there are grains of sand at the beach.

Don Jr.:   Is that sarcasm?

Paul M:   What does she want in return?

Don Jr.:   Huh?

Paul M:   You don’t think the dirt is free do you?

Don Jr.:   Huh?

Paul M:   The cost! Of the dirt…. Dirt isn’t cheap! [Whispering but audible:] numb-nutski.

Don Jr.:   Hey.

Paul M:   Well, if we can’t tell the boss, this better be good.

Don Jr.:   [Singing:] we’re in the money… we’re in the money…. [Normal tone:] wink-wink.

Paul M:   Stop with the “wink-winks,” okay? And the singing. Am I the only one around here that knows what he’s doing? … Like how to edit “wink-wink’s” out of audio tape?

Don Jr.:   [Singing:] we’re in the money… we’re in the money…. See ya—don’t wanna be ya—

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Bonus Phone Call Transcript – One Minute Later:

Don Jr.:   Hey Kush-Kush, can you come to a meeting tomorrow with me and old Man-a-fart?

Jared K:   Sure, as long as I can leave early…. And don’t have to say anything.

Don Jr.:   Deal! Awesome-balls…. I’ll send you a super-secret email…. And don’t tell Pop-Pop.

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